Day 8

I feel like a bit of a wanker to this guy this morning. Mornings arnt really my thing anymore, to tired, but every morning when I walk to the bus stop there is this guy waiting there looking very sus and eager for this bus to come, like before it even gets here he's up and ready to be the first one on like it's primary school race. What I have worked out is that he feels uncomfortable around a heap of children, maybe he feals intimidated. So when I was walking to the bus stop this morning he was facing my direction, so instead if being polite and smiling, I sort of gave him an intimidative stare, sealed to make him agitate abit. And for that I feel like a wanker.

Anywho, day 8, feeling pretty goodthat I have made a week and been comited to writing a post everyday. I have been pretty happy, but also hungry. I will feel much better when I start having breakfast, thanks so much Mr D. Not sure if I have mentioned it in any of my posts but I am really passionate about music, my favouriite song of all time is Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls. I did promise to go into a bit of background history about my father, it was very odd, last night I dremt that I was at his place. It frightend me and for some reason I had two per frogs.

I might aswell tell a little about father, last time I saw him was Christmas last year, hmm not sure how to tell this story. I'll work my way there. Befre moving into my brothers unit I was at mums boyfriends place with her, he is a fucking cunt and I don't want to see him unless I am doing some sort of grevious bodily harm to him. Sorry about my language, anywho I was there since November last year, it was begining of November I think when my dad kicked me out, I was going to move into my grandmothers but because of a party I had there that turned into chaos, it was deemed unsafe for me to be living there. I did want to leave dads, I couldn't stand being there after what the place reminded me of. That's one thing that no one knows and I'm not sure if I want to spill it on here. But I couldn't stand being there after a certain insidant, but it was probably my actions that made dad kick me out, although he did say I could have a party and than two nights before the party was due to happen he said, 'ben I never said you could have a party' Thats another thing, I fucking hate how he contradicts himself, he says one thing and than another, 'oh Ben you could never dissapoint me' 'ben you have really disapointed me' fucking pisses me off. So this nigh I didn't wan to talk to him, he called and I wouldn't answer, I sent him a message saying I was safe and I was not in the mood to talk to him, so he calls again and leaves a message saying, 'ben I'm at nannas, all I want is the key to my house and you can come pick your things up later' a couple days later he tries to deny that he ever said that. Fucking hate peoples egos that they can think they can lie about anything even when they are proven wrong an still deny the truth, who the hell do you think you are, do you think your perfect and never make mistakes, fuck I make mistakes and I accept my mistakes. He could of atleast kept that little bit of respectthat he had.

Almost at school, I want to get into what happened this year to my brother when dad kicked him out for wanting to spend a day with his mum. Seriously what the fuck, one day but no had to go kick him out.

Kisa are funny, they don't fully understand right from wrong, what is acceptable and what isn't, that's why I love their innocents, a little kids can flip people the bird and not mean I offencive, he's just copying society, hahaha these children mirror society, and aparetly society is fliping us the bird.

iBen

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