Bad Day -_-

I'm hungry, I'm pissed off and I'm tired. I'm sore, I'm wrong, I'm selfish and I'm a prick. I'm annoyed, I'm confused and I've just had enough. You can't change people so why does she expect me to change for her, I'm just not good enough for her way of life, the only solution is getting out. Instead of yelling at me an expecting results she should at least help me be independent so that I can move out and do us both a huge favor.

I'm tired, I do not want to be here, I just want to get to my bed and rest, I just want to close my eyes and sleep for a while. Would I still take the red pill, the ignorance could be so blissful from the truth, but the truth could set me free from the lifestyle that I share. I'm sick of taking pills, but I'll be sick from not taking pills, I hate these decisions.

Religion doesn't answer my questions, I pray that it will answer yours.

Day 23

Well this post is being done from my laptop so its a bit of a change in style. at the moment I am in a really terrible mood, I am pissed off at a particular fatherly figure and have only recently discovered some legions on my scalp. So I am in a mix of two emotions, anger and sadness. The sadness stems off to various feelings of fear, hostility and hate. It seems as though my anger also stems into feelings of hate, so at the moment I am hating at someone else as well as myself. When I say myself I intend my life and burden. You know what, I thought writing about it here would help me overcome or understand something. It really isnt helping, I feel very helpless as if I had been issolated from the rest of the world in a state of solitude. So yea, not feeling it tonight.



iBen


(sorry this was an old post, when I tried to post it it didn't publish so i assumed that it was lost, turns out it was saved as a draft =])