=/

It's so sad hearing the cries of someone that wants you, you want to be there for them and just hold them, tell them that it's all going to be okay, just hold them until they fall asleep. I may be looking too deep into this analogy, my mum bought my younger brother a puppy, with the catch that she stays here, in order to get him to spend more time over here, slowly making him comfortable with living here while slowly giving me the hint to find somewhere else. It's annoying that she didn't care to think that a puppy being here is going to affect the two of us, I don't really want to be on puppy control, as cute and loving as she is, I can see myself loving this adorable little thing and then having to tear myself away from her when I get the boot. I felt so sad tonight, I went to go to bed to put my phone on charge, for the hope that dean would message me or at least talk to me on facebook, I really need to talk to him, but I knew that I've already waited till 11 o'clock, and I knew there was probably no chance that he would, I still wanted too, I have too much hope that he will. As I went to leave though, the puppy whined and whined, and I felt so bad, that this poor little dog was being left alone, when all she wanted was to spend some time with me, and I was going to deny that to her so I could hope that dean would talk to me. So I went back to her, sat her on my chest as I laid on the couch watching skins on sbs, she fell asleep in an instant, it was amazing. That's all I've ever wanted, someone that can hold me in their arms as I fall asleep, dean used to do that for me, I don't know whats changed. I know it must sound stupid that I'm relating everything back to him, but when one person means the world to you, then everything in the world can be brought back to them, like these quilts, dean loves this huge big quilt, it's amazing, but it works so much better when there are two of us, it gets mangled up and ends up sideways when it's just me, and my pillows, I use the dark brown and he uses the light brown, I keep the light brown one right next too mine, just knowing that's his spot, that's where he lays his head when he's here, it's comforting. I just wish he could see how I feel about this, I wish he could understand how much he means to me, and I just want to feel like I'm wanted, like he wants to be here with me.


- iBen =]x