Unexpected..

I didn't think it would actually come to that conclusion, I really didn't want it to. I know I have my problems, and I thought that if I could work them out then things would go back to how it was. I don't think I can just see him as a friend, I just wish we were still together, just not so serious. I think that would work, I think if we stayed in a relationship and I stop seeing things so serious then we will be lots more happier. I mean, I'm going to have to stop being so serious if were going to stay as friends, so why not stay together? Its not that I didn't trust him, I never thought he would cheat on me, I just thought that he might have been curious about a single life, and I was trying to understand that thought, and god I'm an idiot, its not fair, when I have these thoughts, its so hard to explain it though. I want to be with him, I want him to still see me as that special person, even though it may not be love, because I see him as that special person. I want to have him hold me as we fall asleep, I want to be the one that gives him a back massage and kiss him goodnight, will we have that anymore? I don't know, can't we be like a basic couple? Together, but not so attached, like I wont see him 24/7, but we will still see each other, I don't think I even want what I was feeling, it seems like love was causing me too much stress, I think now that I know that I'm not insane I feel a lot more confident in us. Its just, is it too late? We've already said we will help each other through it, is there any chance that he would want what I want? To be together, but just dulled down? I can't live without him in my life, and I think that he needs me in his too, its all happened too fast, I need to see him soon, that will be good for us, we can work out whats really going on. I miss him so..