Day 28 - Stranger Dreams

Emotions are funny things, when you actually think about what they are, they are just chemical imbalancements in your brain that cause you to smile, laugh, hate, fear, etc. Easter sucks, I got no idea what I am ranting on about today. I just want to leave, like run away but somewhere far away, somewhere where there are brown trees, with their leaves forever falling, just graceful. I can lay there, under the trees and let these brown leaves slowly glide over me, covering me, protecting me as I lay there ever so peaceful. Not here though, not in Australia, my thoughts of this place lead me to believe that a place of which I dream of running away to cannot exist in this country. I need to be far away, a place where I never knew existed, that's where my dream get away lies. Its funny how songs make my thoughts run wild, listen to The Summer by Josh Pyke, hopefully you can visualize this place that I do, a place that reminds you of the happiest moments of your life, somewhat of solitude but with the ones you love and enhance your love, joy and happiness for life. These people know who they are, and if they are reading this they most defiantly know I am talking about them.

But that's the thing, I want to be able to escape to this place that only exists in my head with these people that enhance my life, but I cannot take these people from their life. The only logical possibility for my dream to be true for me realise on my actions, running away to my dream destination, alone, in a cold and silent solitude manner, and just visualize everything and everyone that makes my life happy and enjoyable. Visualize that they are there with me, put my mind in a trance as the leaves soothe my mind and link my physical, psychological and emotional states. Fuck I need to ease up on the LSD... I'm kidding you can never have enough LSD... Okay I'm kidding even more, I have never had LSD, and that's the truth. I just say that as an excuse so people don't think I am crazy because of the shit I rant about.

I wish I could dance, it looks so graceful. Last night I had a conversation with an anonymous year 9 boy, I don't know this boy, I have no idea how I got this boy's msn address, but last night we ended up talking. We talked about sexuality, our out looks on certain situations and how they differed (he is straight by the way), talked about drugs and a lot of personal information. It is such a great thing to talk to strangers, I have no idea what mother was about when I was younger, strangers are the best to talk to, they don't know you, their judgment of you means nothing really so you can tell them the most personal information about you because you don't know them, they wont judge you and you feel free with them. If he is reading this I just want to say thanks for the chat.

iBen