You're a sex position
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
Dazed
It's been too long since I have last blogged, I'm not in the mood to fill in the gaps right now so I will just start with last night. Some how I predicted that Deans mum would want me to stop seeing him, it was just a thought I had while I was at home messaging him, I thought it was stupid but I thought it might happen. After I picked him up so we could go to mine to watch skins he informed me of the talk he had with his mum, about spending less time with me and that we should spend more time with our family. I thought it was stupid, whenever I message Dean when I'm not there he's either on the computer playing games or in his room listening to music, reading or playing the playstation, well occasionally he is watching movies with his mum. I might have taken it the wrong way but I felt like she doesn't want me around. So I was offended and annoyed, I was a bit annoyed at Dean as well, mum has tried restricting me from seeing Dean quite a bit, not because she doesn't like him, for example when I was doing my HSC, she didn't want me seeing him, told me I was only allowed to see him once a week, but I ended up seeing him everyday of the week, and then this year she tried to make me spend time with family by making me stay home Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays, I tried it for a week and realized how crappy family time was, all that ended up happening was mum and I arguing and fighting. When it comes to seeing who I want, it's my decision, not mums, and I was annoyed that last night Deans mum said he could watch skins at mine, but he had to be home before 12, what's the point, everyone is going to be asleep, what difference would it have made if he slept over? It annoyed me that the reasoning to cut down on seeing me was because of family but last night had nothing to do with family, and that Dean was still going through with going home at 12, if it was his choice to go home then that would be different, but it's just like he is following stupid orders, and it annoyed me, that I can act on my own wants but he was listening to what his mum wanted him to do, I don't know maybe I'm looking to far into it, I just think it's so stupid.
- iBen =]x
- iBen =]x
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Love
The past couple of weeks since my return from Bali has been somewhat eventful, the main event that has sparked quite an amount of controversy, speculation, tension and loads of emotional discharge is Deans mum discovering that we are in a relationship. At first I was so happy with the event, I was so happy for Dean, but I don't want to go into too much detail as to what events have happened, the main points that are needed is that his dad isn't taking it too well, and his mum seams to be quite un-accepting of the situation. What made me want to make this post is what she said today, it made me quite upset, upset for Dean, I remember when my mum would say it, I would cry, I would hate myself, and I would hate her for wanting mr to go back to a life of denial, she said 'go back to the way you used to be'. Sure she probably didn't mean it like that, but it got me so sad, and I could see how upset Dean got with it, it was troubling him for the rest of the evening, it was quite evident, what made it worse was that no matter how much I wanted to hug him and reassure him that things will get better, how much I wanted to help him, I couldn't, I wanted to take him back to mine, so we could talk, I wanted to tell him that I was upset, but I couldn't, by the looks of things Dean doesn't want to burden his mum, and I suppose letting her know that she offended him would do that. It just frustrates me that people can't understand what it's like for us, for him, imagine how you would feel if someone was so upset with who you are, that they would want you to not be who you are, imagine how you good you would feel about yourself, it destroys peoples self confidence, it's not fair. I love him so much, I don't mind that be' removed our relationship from facebook, I respect that we should ease his mum into the situation, I'm annoyed that his mum wanted it down so badly because she wasn't ready to accept it, but I respect that, I love him so much I would do anything for him, anything that could help him, I want to be there for him. I just want to help this blow over, I want to help him with easing his mum into it, her ignoring that we are together is not helping, she needs us to sit and talk to her, but she's not going to be ready anytime soon if she is going to keep seeing Dean and I as mates, she knows that were not just mates, and as soon as she accepts that the sooner we can have our talk. Is she worried that I don't love him? I'm just a little confused, anyways, she will come to it, she is an amazing woman and she will come through, I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I am going to do what's right by Dean no matter what. Goodnight readers
- iBen =]x
- iBen =]x
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