Overdose

Well took my pills today. For some reason I am lying on the floor rather than my bed, and suprisingly I prefer it. I got my door open and a nice cooling breeze coming in right above my head, iPod speakers blaring a day to remember righ next to me and I can see the blue sky painted above. To Lauren, I won't look for your blog because you dont want it to be found, but mine I just realised that mine are not that deep, nor beautiful, in fact they are mainly me bitching about certain people, expressig my hate toward them and having a go at the past year of my life. If anything, this blog is only filled with negativity, hate, anger and regret. I mitt shut myself off from blogging, it seams that the more I blog the more I understand myself, and it looks bad. I'm fine with how I am now, in fact I would like to turn the clock back about a week, and i'd be fine, but if I could turnthe clock back I'd go back to year six. That's when it all went downhill, I'm not sure if I should go into the issue, it may cause me too much sadness that I really don't want right now. But the shit I went through then was something that no kid should ever have to be put through, and it makes me sick that people can claim that they're life is bad because they didn't get the new car they wanted or your model shoot failed. People need to realize that there are kids that have been through much worse than any of us coul comprehend. I don't want to go into things anymore, it doesn't matter how I got here, the fact is I'm here, and I am the way I am for various reasons that don't matter, just accept it.

I'm not happy, but I'll get there, trust me. For every dark night, there's a bright day lying ahead. Patience yea? Fuck I looked up at my bed and thougt there was a bear sitting there, scared the shit out of me. Umm much love, stay away from drugs.

iBen with a silent F

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone