Day 29

Dreams are funny little inventions that god created for us as an autoplay game during our sleep. It's like god didn't want us to get entirley bored so he gave us something entertaining instead of a blank screen to watch for the 'x' amount of hours we sleep. Sometimes the dreams are awesome, adventurous and insightful while other times we are faced with fear, anger, grief and solitude. I guess this is gods brain training excersises to help stimulate, control and understand the true potential of our emotions and feelings.

I am astronomicaly stupid, I do the most stupid things and don't do the most smartest things when it seems so easily possible to do and not do those smart and stupid things. Mum says I lack common sence, I agree, she says the smart ones always lack common sence, I disagree. How can one be smart if they inflict pain upon themselves? How can one be smart if they don't take the basic necesities to survive? (I guess what I am doing here is in a way discussing with myself and trying to find some ground on whether I am smart or not, right now this is the against side for me being smart) I know I have to take pills to have a safe functioning immune system and yet I don't. I know I need to eat to be able to get atleast a bit of nutrients from my unhealthy diet, but I starve myself. These lumps and sores on my head are my own fault, if I hadn't of neglected my medication for the past three or so months than I doubt I would have these. It's all my fault, and to make it worse, I don't think I care.

iBen

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