I feel so great to look back and see how far I have come since day 1. I can see how my emotions have gone an a roller-coaster journey, started from being fueled with anger and hatred, to sinking in sorrow and sadness until being pulled out into the light of happiness and joy that I am in now. I can see how my artwork has been like photographic film, capturing everything I have reflected onto it, and I am happy that I have succeeded in doing so, I look at it and I see the anger portraits I started way back during day 1, and then moved onto the sad works that haven't been finished because my emotions changed to happiness and I have managed to almost complete two happiness works which is great.
I have been feeling effects of a relationship lately, I didn't get to see Dean last night or today and I really want to see him now but I have to study, he even said I have to study, he's good he really is, it's very thoughtful of him to make me study instead of be with him, but I am seeing him tomorrow which is good, after all I don't think I could last not seeing him during exam weeks. Ah crap exam weeks! I think Dean is going to see his dad next week so that will be good for him and I might be able to get some studying done. It's kinda funny because when I turned 18 mum was like, don't think you can go to Castro's and get yourself a boyfriend, you still have your HSC, but yea I didn't meet Dean at Castro's, nor did I meet him when I was 18.
I think I have finally decided what I want to do at university, I want to do a double degree in bachelor of creative arts - bachelor of arts. I want to major in graphic design for creative arts and psychology for arts, I'm not sure if it works like that but I'll have to look into it. I need to do something creative and psychology has always been a main interest for me, I have wanted to be a child or adolescent psychologist because I know how crucial these years are in making a person who they are, and I have seen how messed up peoples lives can turn out if things aren't felt with at a younger age and I can't stand knowing that there are children out there that need help and aren't getting it. I had an idea of opening up my own youth clinic sort of thing, I wrote down my ideas in my ideas book which I created at a young age, I flicked through there a while ago and found so many things, one of which amazed me was my computer cafe, I put so much thought and effort into it, drawing up blueprints, making item lists and prices, security systems, designs and layout of the place, I think that's what kept me interested in the idea, the design aspect. Architecture was my childhood dream job, but as I have seen in my younger brother it might have been a child stage that everyone goes through, designing dream homes and stuff, unless we have more in common then I thought.
Well that's about it for today, hope everyone had a good day and that tomorrow will be better =]
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