Over the past 145 days I have come further than I could imagine, I have faced my fears and conquered barriers I thought I never would. I have transformed from the sadness and hatred that once fueled me and now I am at the happiest state of mind I have ever been at. 145 days ago I set out on a journey and the path I have taken has been traced out in my blog, although the path ahead of me is unseen, it is not unclear. My future is in my control and it will be what I make it to be, but not always what I want it to be. From here things can only get better, there is no such thing as going back to how I was, it is not possible for anything to bring me down when everything lifts me higher, I am bulletproof. Call it what you want, cocky, egotistic, ignorant, but it doesn't matter, because from here there is no falling no matter what people think can bring me down, it won't.
I think the main turning point in my journey that set it off in the right direction was when Isaac last lashed out, that's the thing about me, I can find positive in negative situations, does that make me a bad person, or resourceful, think about it. When I saw him lash out against my mother and grandparents it was like the things I tried so hard to repress burst out of me and I couldn't let any of this happen again, especially when my younger brother was around to witness it, so once I got in between them I face Isaac and I let out everything that I have held back from him over the past six years, verbally of course, but it hit him harder than any physical act he could do unleash upon me, you could see it in his face and in the reaction that came next. It may have appeared to everyone that I didn't think this through, being face to face with him while holding everyone behind me, but I did, at that point I wanted him to hit me, as sick as it may sound I was waiting for him to hit me, I say that I wanted him to hit me to prove my point about him, but I think I wanted him to hit me for himself. I would gladly take a blow if it mention that no one else had to, anyway I will stop trying to justify why I wanted him to hit me, but when it sealed I was vulnerable, my younger brother got between us, it was so odd to have my younger brother do this for me, and when he is determined to do something he will do it well. Isaac lashed out again with the aim to get me, despite my want to hit me and his will to hit me, he didn't, I am smarter than I thought, by letting him know that he would only prove my point by hitting me put him at war with his ego, and he could not risk knowing that he is really living the life of a monster. That was the turning point, when I was able to face my brother with no fear and speak what I needed to speak with no care for his feelings as he never cared for mine.
So here I am, a projectile that has been launched at speeds exceeding escape velocity, I have past the point of no return and only the infinite stars guide my way
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